Saddest day of the month.
Maybe its too early to say that today-the saddest because possibly I might experience a sadder-day than today.
I HOPE NOT.
I HOPE NOT.
Everything just went wrong. I don't know why and I don't understand why. Perfectly-understood that things here in Russia might even worst than what I've experienced or what I've been going through. Everybody knew it. But when it strikes you, your luck just gone, JUST LIKE THAT.
And leave me dry and dreaded.
Anyone might just come and tell me ; gurl its no big thing, no big issue and some of them might even say I am the one who create self-sadness because I've been expecting more (while I am working less). When people see, they might think you are perfect ~ but things are always harder at one side and only you yourself hiding it.
I am hiding it all by myself. I know that I MUST stop expecting IT. Because my initial intention had nothing to do with this, but you know when things just go the way you want all these years, you might start to think that YOU WANT IT. I WANT IT. I am digging a hole for myself to step into it. How silly. But I always have difficulties in controlling my mind. To be exact, my emotion and needs.
OK. Conclusion, I have low EQ.
