ONE WORD

JUST ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE MY LIFE NOW : BUSY. BUSY, BUSY AND BUSY.

Insomnia

Gosh unable to sleep whole night ! AGAIN ! ! !
Don't know what's happening, I really can't sleep.
Exams are over, no stress and still I am having insomnia, even worst than before exam.

Gonna have interview in an hour time. I am a lil' nervous. But wanna finish it soon!

I am so so so so so sooooooooooo busy with the graduation work and my packing! I packed 89kgs already, can you believe me? GOSH, I am really crazy. And I have 90 more kgs to pack!

Thank god I have juniors, they offered me 90kgs goodness! And 25 more kgs from other friends. I am really grateful to have them when I need a hand! And I actually need more hehe.

I guess I should get ready now. Today itself, I have a handful list of things to do.

I need strength!

DR. Jr.

Officially I am done with final year. I am graduating in 8 days.

Am feeling really sick today. Stomachache, diarrhoea several times and vomited.

Dozing off now. Gonna blog tomorrow =) Night peeps!

Fifty Five

55 hours to go, I will end my medical school officially.
I should be studying now but I just can't get into the mood.
How I wish I can just go for exam without studying. I still will pass I guess. The matter is only how did you pass yourself.
I wish someone can talk and chat with me now, I am so so so boring.
Family back in Malaysia sleeping, Danbo's sleeping, muscovites are either sleeping or studying. I am the only one - workless.

I didn't want to sleep tonight. I wanna study, seriously I do wanna study. I am so slow. I need to catch up, so much to catch up. But the evil side of me keep telling me not to worry because everything is just going to be alright.

It is football season now. Danbo watches 3 matches a day. Thumbs up to him ! He never started a shit yet, I am amazed yet he felt no stress haha. At all. Kubi before dating him and after has so so so much difference. I used to be . . . a book worm! But now I am a lepak-queen =p How I wish I can have half of his EQ. Well, I actually love the better me now. At least I live a simpler life and I am happy.

I wanna call home, time is ticking so slowly. Wanna talk to mommy. Oh, I used to spelled mummy but now I think mommy is nicer. Danbo influenced me, he likes everything with round shape. Said I have a round eyes, round nose, round face, and football is round too. His favorite number is 8. He seriously loves everything round! But he dislikes round-fat-flabby-fair woman LOL =p He is a perfectionist! And I am unnoticeably following is trend =p The feeling is perfect when you can perfect the imperfections. The bad side is, people might think you have high expectations, but to me, I really think expectations are needed in life.

And . . . Danbo's dream is to be a plastic surgeon L O L =p
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . . . Let me tell you about my idea of him being a plastic surgeon in future post =p

Second and last

First paper done. Second coming next Monday. My last exam in Moscow, my final final final exam as undergraduate medical students. I haven't started much. Just four more days left but I didn't feel it yet.

Instead my cooking mood is on again! Even though I didn't update any food post lately but I do still cook everyday. Maybe not something too extraordinary. Cooking used to be one of my hobby but maybe because I am leaving Moscow soon, leaving this room, this hostel and leaving my lovely oven and stove, I rarely cook anything extraordinary.

Anyway I am gonna clear up my fridge tomorrow and gonna have a food feast finishing all the stored food/meats. I do wanna cook tomorrow, I already have few dishes in mind. I need more chinese food. Lately been eating too much of fried/bbq-ed/spicy/and hot food. I need to cool down a lil =p

While revising my fridge, I saw a lot of essences left in my fridge. Rose flavor, red coloring, pandan coloring/flavor, vanilla and also damn it ~ I have a durian essence ! ! ! Hahaha . . . Been thinking what to do with it. And made up my mind that I shall bake a few muffins. Danbo dislikes durian, I guess I gotta give a try, bake a few muffins and glurp all by myself =)

Ten Days

Ten more days mommy will be here, in Moscow.
Tomorrow is my first paper, MCQ paper for my final.
Finally I am sitting my 2nd last paper in Moscow.
Mix of feelings.
I have so many things to do besides exam. Really.
I know I haven't studied much but
I hope tomorrow will be good.
Please be good. I plead.
=)

YOU AIN'T A PRINCESS !

#10

They simply mean there is a light shining somewhere nearby.

#9

There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly.

#7 #8

My ideal is to wake up in the morning and run around the meadow naked.
Between the in between.

When I was younger . . .

I am quite bored with my current skin. Been using it for a while already. I didn't want to change it because I don't want to waste my time editing all the layouts again. Hmmm . . . this skin is still pretty cute right? I wonder how can I wider the margin of my skin. Some blogs I read, they have really wide margin from left to right, you can read a bigger font and also view a larger image. I just don't know how to do it. Plus I am lazy. Normally you tend not to change anything from your routine. What to do, I get bored so easily. I need new stuff all the time. But I really think with a wider margin, my blog gonna look better. I've been using 10 inches lappie for 5 years already, I am really bored with it. Quite awesome when I get to online with my friend's lappie with 15-17 inches. I am bored with my routine =(

Oh it is 2:30 am now and goodness I am studying! Well, I tried concentrating whole day, even though my concentration did not reach more than 50% but at least I am studying right. At least even if I wasn't concentrating too much, I was just looking, by the vision, I still see something, read something. Better than nothing!

I am still hoping for a picnic. Sigh the weather is just not good. Rainy days for whole week. In fact nearly 2 weeks already. I didn't get to hang out. But room is kinda cooling and perfect for sleeping! Room is less dusty during rainy days. Talking about dust, sigh my guitar is so dusty. I mean my guitar bag. I rarely play. I suck at guitar man. I really need to start playing again. As I've already made up my mind playing a birthday song for my mum 2 days right after we got back home from Europe trip! Shhhhhh . . . a secret =)

She will gonna love it and she never know that I play guitar. She must be really surprise because I don't think she ever thought of her own kids capable of playing any musical instruments. The 3 girls at home disappointed her so so so many times because we refused to learn organ when we were younger, or better known as pipe organ. I never practice at home, I played only during classes. And once, my teacher scolded me so badly and I cried. I remembered she hit my hand on the organ. And I ran back home and told my daddy that I got beaten up with violence. L O L. I did it on purpose because I just hate playing instrument so much.
My daddy was so so so angry and he went to the Yamaha musical school and scolded the teacher, paid of the remaining school fees. A month after that incident, the musical school closed down. L O L. I guess my daddy had something to do with this =p I was only 7. And I played on a glass-made organ. The organ is so pretty. 10 years after, I regretted. How I wish I can play on a keyboard now. But, never too late to learn. I always wanted to learn, if I have time, but one thing for sure, I need a teacher ! =)

Zero

It's really weird to blog during midday. Especially when I just got up from bed and when the sun gleamed on the window. I read blog as usual. I read people's blog as usual. And today I felt so much depression on myself after reading blogs.

More than 60% of my friends are either doctors or medical students. I love to read blogs because I dislike to ask. I don't usually ask when they have no intention to tell. And what would a doctor blogs about? Yeah about their dull working life, how they manage their patients and their diseases and also how they got screwed up by the specialists.

I am more interested on how they manage their patients and diseases because hell knows working life is always dull and boring. I felt myself being zero. Yeah ZERO. I am really envious that they were trained in a better medical schools. They were trained so well before starting their job. And yet I am in a state where I sometimes do not understand what they are talking about.

One conclusion I can make is that RSMU sucks no matter how hardworking you are, how good you've memorize all the theories and how good you've scored for your finals. Because we just don't practice. We never practice. And another disadvantage is that we work for Russia. We study in Russia. And so Russian grads are classified under 3rd grade doctors, well we deserve the grade.

I didn't say that being a Russian grad unable to shine in your own way. I didn't mean that a Russian grad can never be a good doctor. I am just clear that I have to learn in a very hard way. Very. I am starting my medical school again when I start working. I have to go through hard times.

I really think that RSMU should be unrecognized. It is better for you to work and study hard for your A Levels. With your best results, I am sure now there are a lot of affordable medical schools in Malaysia. At least, you will be train better locally. And also RSMU is not cheap nowadays. During my time, I mean 6 years ago, US$5000 per year is a good deal. 30 thousand for M.D. where to get?

Well as I'd mentioned, if I were to choose my life again, this will be my life. But if you have a better option, never consider Russia. Unless you wanna work in Russia, RSMU is your choice.

Kapitoli Getaway

I don't have to write. You read the image. Hahaha.
If you don't laugh when you see this image, then you are a moron =p
Unless you are not a Russian speaker =)
I am not trying to show how bad we played XD
АЙРИС with her lovely sky blue nomer 8 bowling ball and her frog-legged.
Arrogant yet stupid.
ЙИНЬ said she failed her 'post'.
ЙОН with his extreme posture but blardy slow rolling ball =p
But XXXX okay Wuahahaha.
ЖЕНЬ a.k.a Jen a.k.a Woman with his semi-pro posture, balls with gigantic wave of energy but lil' not at its straight line. Heeeee XD
I am finding something to blog.
Our Kapitoli Getaway last 2 weeks.
Enjoy your body when you roll.

Mary had a little lamb ...

Mary had a little lamb,
Little lamb, little lamb,
Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white as snow

Everywhere that Mary went,
Mary went, Mary went,
Everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go

It followed her to school one day
School one day, school one day
It followed her to school one day
Which was against the rules.

It made the children laugh and play,
Laugh and play, laugh and play,
It made the children laugh and play
To see a lamb at school

And so the teacher turned it out,
Turned it out, turned it out,
And so the teacher turned it out,
But still it lingered near

And waited patiently about,
Patiently about, patiently about,
And waited patiently about
Till Mary did appear

"Why does the lamb love Mary so?"
Love Mary so? Love Mary so?
"Why does the lamb love Mary so?"
The eager children cry

"Why, Mary loves the lamb, you know."
Loves the lamb, you know, loves the lamb, you know
"Why, Mary loves the lamb, you know."
The teacher did reply

-_______-

I suck at MCQ. I always do better in oral or writing. I have more than 2000 MCQ questions to study for final. Gosh, less than 10 days! I am in deep shit. I remembered I studied my surgery MCQs like 3 weeks before exam last semester but now I have less than 10 days only and I have more than 2000 questions. I am so so so dead.

So far, I studied 200 questions. 10% of the sum. I just finished 65 episodes of series. Just. SHIT. I really gotta start studying. No kidding! Besides I still have writings and oral =(

My mood is just not right. 22 more days till my graduation and 19 more days till I see mummy. Why can't they just give the final right after our classes and give us a longer break before graduation so that we can prepare better for exam and also our convocation.

I am just thinking of going into depression again. Heeeeeee. Can't believe myself marinating meat for steamed glutinous rice with chicken a.k.a loh mai kai at 2:45am. Yeah am gonna make it tomorrow. I didn't cook well lately. Well you can see that I never post a shit about food. I feel so much like cooking =) So tomorrow gonna be my cooking day!

I have so many plans. I don't know if I have time. I wish I have! I wanna go picnic, museums, zoo, etc etc etc . . . At this very second, damn I can only remember my plans but not exam -_______-

I really need more time !

Fourth Of June

Time is ticking really fast. 25 more days till my graduation! Oh to be more exact my very own convocation ! ! ! I've never attended any convocation in my life, not my parents', not my sister's, not my brother's, not my friends'. As far as I remembered, once in my life time was attending Danbo's cousin brother's convocation 2 years back at MMU. Anyway, I have nothing much to say about other people's convocation. I am soon gonna have my own convocation!

6 years in Russia, passed really really fast. I still remember my first flight to Moscow, sat next to a belgian guy, until now I can still remember his face and our conversation. We had a photo. And my first time living away from home, thousand miles away, moved into a tiny square block with 4 other friends. I gained from 48kg to 57kg. I ate few bars of chocolates a day, eating cereal and milk every night before sleeping. Studied biology together with my block-mates, revised a day before exam and I freaked out because I cannot remember a shit. Moved on to 2nd year, had my first trip Europe trip to Italy, and summer I went to Dubai. I moved on every year, visiting more and more countries. More and more continents. Last summer, I spent my summer break in states. Counting from now, it has been more than 1 year and 9 months since I met my family. My longest away from home. All the goods and bads throughout these 6 years, well if I were to choose again my life, this will be my life =)

I am not sure what is gonna happen in future. What is gonna happen in 3 months time. This month is my final month being a student. The final month of my care-free life where I don't have to think where my allowances come from, because I have daddy. 3 months from now, I have to live on my own. I have to start working. In a hospital. I have to start paying my own debts for houses, cars, etc etc and etc. This is what I am afraid of all these while. Yes, the commitments. I am never good with commitments.

But I am leaving Russia for good. Yeah, I have to stay positive, I am leaving Russia for good. I don't hate Moscow, but I just don't love Moscow enough. I miss home more. I love my home more. I wanna be at home more despite that I have to start earning my own life. I guess everyone has to go through this, and I don't have priority pass, just like you. I just can't imagine that I am already an adult, I have to take care of myself. My last sight of memory with my parents, we were having jokes, fun and cuddling each other. I am always like a small kid in their eyes. I just can't imagine how am I gonna talk to them 'like an adult'. I don't think I am ready yet. But I wonder how my parents gonna treat me as an adult when I get home this summer. Will they still cuddle and accept my stupid jokes and from a doctor? I really wonder. To them, doctor has to be serious and serious. Yes, I am serious when I work. You feel me if you ever worked with me. But at home, I never act like one.

I guess I am just not ready to accept that I am growing now. No longer a daddy girl. My younger brother is 4 years younger than me, and he is graduating this July too. He seems to be more mature. Both in thinking and in person, including his appearance keke. I do have personality disorder. Whenever my parents around, I am always like a kid. I didn't make this and I didn't control myself. And my 2nd elder sister just finished her master last month, and now she is waiting for her convocation and her entry seat for Phd. She works for LKW. Oh I remembered calling her yesterday asking for help. For your info, I am in charge in yearbook for my graduation and also as an event coordinator. To be frank, being an editor is not easy at all, especially when you are a medical student. I've never used photoshop so much before. Imagine, we have to work with graphic designs. Such a pain. And the printing company gave us so so so many problems, we couldn't blame them all because we are new. We didn't know that we have to bleed to size of the paper, we didn't know we need to use CYMX instead of RGB, we didn't know that graphic designers never use publisher, we never know that yada yada yada and yada . . . We went several times, editing again and again and again and thank god, we are done! Our yearbook is printing now. I am SO GLAD. And thanks to the handphone-ps-tutor from Miss Ivy hehe =p And now I just gotta wait and pray for a good outcome but we are ready to accept any criticism. Human just love to complain especially when they need to spend a little of their money.

Anything to do with cars, driving license or politics, I can ask my daddy. Anything to do with law, I can rely on my oldest sister, anything to do with designs either graphic or drawings, my 2nd sister is the best choice or both my brother-in-laws, anything to do with engineering I can talk to my brother, and anything to do with cookings, I have mummy, and anything they need to know about medical, I can advise them, anything about finance I guess my youngest brother can help in future? Heeeeeee. I just miss home so so so much. Just can't wait to touch the ground.

Went to bowling today right after the printing company. Danbo and I were quite exhausted dealing with the stuff we are handling now. I didn't play a lot today. I wasn't in a very good condition. Didn't have much spirits and my legs were not helping. Thus, I scored like shit. As usual, we go for pool after bowling, as usual only for 3-4 games. And again as usual, spent money on pancakes (Tepemok) and as usual non-stop buying groceries, my fridge gonna explode soon!

I promised myself to start studying for finals 3 days ago which was the first day of June. I failed. And now I am still day and night dreaming. Having my face mask on, I am blogging now and it is already 1 pass midnight. I need sleep. I still have plans. Not sure what but I am just not ready for books yet. Not so soon.

Oh yeah, I started selling my stuff since last week. Stuff like fridge, smartcooker, stove, oven, books, cupboards, etc etc. I am glad that almost everything sold off except for a few like slow cooker and rice cooker. My business wasn't bad at all. I didn't sell them at the corridor or through blogging, I just posted them in FB and goodness, half an hour most of my stuff are gone! I am so happy. And haha of course I am happy because I have money now XD Well, at least more than my monthly allowances, maybe twice? Heeeeeeee. But you guys don't try to rob me ok! XD I am just gonna use the money wisely like paying for my mum 's accommodation in Moscow and St.Pete !

Alright, need to wash off my mask and yeah I am just gonna pamper myself like princess for this final month! Read me everyday! Night peeps! Oh before that, hehe I wanna tell you that, this is only my 3rd time putting on a mask! Yeah in my whole life, 3rd time! My advise is that no matter how pretty you think you are, no matter how flawless you think you are, no matter how young you think you are, please do a mask! We are all aging. I don't use cleanser. Only if I put on a make up, I clean my face using a cleanser, or else, I think crystal clear cold tap water is really good!

An exquisite Mexican Night

It was Jamie's birthday last Sunday and we decided to throw her a party. Actually she requested for a birthday party hehe, well I guess she wanna have a birthday party at her older age to crave back some childhood memories hehe. I am not sure about others but as for me, my parents never fail organizing me a birthday party every year, since I was younger. I miss the older times. This is the 8th time we celebrated her birthday together, not all of us, but most of us. We have been celebrating each other's birthday since we were studying in college, doing our A Levels. I know many things had happened in this long 8 years, but no matter what friendship is what I treasure. I love you girl =) You know I do even though I don't always express myself XDBut anyways, yeah we had an exquisite mexican night! The party was so fun. We dressed up like mexicans, the ladies dressed up with flowery dresses, long lovely skirts and Angeline-special-made flowery hair-bands. The mexicano-men with their lovely mustaches. And credit to the room decorators with various of vegetables hehe, yeah with garlico, banano and etc etc . . . XD

Thanks to Angeline for her lovely flower hair-band.Don't mess with a mexicano =p

Yummy yummy-licious food! We had chicken and bacon wrap by Leelee and Romayne, broccoli bacon salad by Angeline and Claire, mexican rice by Tryphena and Nachos with mango salsa, guacomole, taco sauce, chicken enchiladas with tortilla bread and hot sauce buffalo wings by yours truly XD

Finally I have a picture with this girl. Not our very first picture but I think this is the only picture with me that she likes because she didn't un-tag herself in FB wuahaha. And yeah she looks so mexican that night!Am not gonna blog much about the party. Conclusion I had a wonderful party. Oh yeah and finally I learned how to play Texas Poker! And, I tried on a cigar! Don't mess with me wuahahahaha XD

Last but not least, Happy Birthday Chia Kuan Mun ! ! !