YOU AIN'T A PRINCESS !

I ASK NO MORE BUT FOR TOMORROW.

My Last Summer

My fingers' been itching to update a post and I'd been thinking so long because I have nothing interesting to blog about. And I am sure you are not really interested to read about my life in words, life that more than you should know. My brain never stop functioning, remembering myself how much I'd been missing my last summer trip in states. I really miss the stressfree carefree whateverfree life I had - the food, the companions, the beaches, the nature, shopping and etc. etc.

If I have ONE wish to be granted NOW - I wish I could to fly away for a long-long break (at least out of this room) BUT of course a-free-trip-all-in Hee. I wish everything I am missing right now appear JUST right in front of me. DAMN. It's really depressing sitting HERE. Please grant me . . . Please grant me . . .

FOOD

Ma lovely delicious plate of Pigpick at Jimmy's BBQ NYC
I miss eating Hush Puppies. I really LOVE'em

The best roasted duck - Chinatown London

My favorites for morning Dimsum breakfastThe biggy longy snow crab I had in Crab Shacks . . . YummyA decent plate of Nasi Lemak with Anchovies & Prawn Sambal I cooked.The Florida Lobster at Sam Seltzer

Malaysian-Singaporean Food at Farmer's Market L.Angeles

ROOTBEER I heart

A place where you can hangout when you are bored,
a place where you can watch all the blockbuster movies,
English cinema that you can NEVER find in Moscow.(How pathetic?)

Ziegfeld Cinema NYC

Oh My Oh Miami Beach - The BEST beach ever.The best people seeing beach,
the best ocean I ever had.I miss soaking under the sun,
I miss roasting my skin on the beach.

The Niagara Falls.
The best ride I had - under the fall.The Maid Of Mist.

Goshhhh . . . My best road trip to Vegas. Best companions.

Shamu Shamu the killer whale XD
The most entertaining show in SeaWorld

The little cutie cutie penguins . . .

Most memorable fireworks at Magic Kingdom DisneyWorld Orlando, Florida

It was superBBbbrrr . . . Niceeeeeeeeee

Please GRANT me . . . NOW
*****

Unready

I am not ready for exam,I am not ready for holiday.

I wanna go nowhere. Can I just sit here?

Mind being disturbed every single day
for some reasons God knows.

It is not work that kills, but worry.

People I Miss

RANKING 1st, my baby-niece-ah-tun-Sydney Ooi.
Shes soon 3 years old. The cutest baby ever.

All the silly things she did at home.

My grandparents.
My beloved grandpa.

Missing my gurls.

My badminton coach. My training.

Missing the fruit farm back home.
The fruit seasons with family.
My silly brother in law. Hehe.

Danbo & his mum. I wonder if he misses his mum lol =pMy daddy. Best man in my life.

Mummy.

My family.
My favorite people.

My god parents & family.

MY long hair.Person I'll never stop missing. Dee my darling.
China was the best trip ever in my life.
5 years ago, we were only using digicam 2.0 MP haha.
Mind the quality of the pics!
Besides I took like 10 rolls of films OMG.
Dee's dad O_O and said that we took every single grass on ground.

My darlingssssssss.

I miss home. Missing all of them. BUT I am STUCKED here.
Gonna miss them for another year.
Not gonna see ANY of them for another year. Exp Danbo.
The positive side is, Kubi gonna meet them next year!!!

Exam stress is kicking me right now. Lack of time.
But like I said, stress hooked up with some laziness.
My family gonna have early father's day celebration tonight.
I miss them.

Am I still in mutism state?

I am not clear myself.

But one thing for sure is, yes the thingy still haunting my mind. Loitering around my brain tissues.

Life goes on as usual, you see Kubi smile and laugh as usual, you see her serious face every weekday as usual, you see my most "ganas-morning-look" every morning every weekday as usual. I talk cock as usual. And you see my most acute stage killing people if my sleep being disturbed. But deep inside, yeah I am still in mutism state.

I am a sudden-girl not a cover-girl lol.

Never go through incubation period, straightaway you'll always see acute symptoms, and after all the symptoms dissappear, you will see me reverse back to incubation period or period reconvalense, and exacerbation is anytime, anywhere.

This proven I have real low EQ.

There are some people I hate to mention in this blog but sometimes these people really get on my nerves. I never complain being isolated by others but instead these people complained being isolated. We never force you out but your attitude walked you away from us. We shall never be blame because sometimes talking to you need us to think thrice, anything anytime you might get irritated and angry silently inside. As fast as lightnings and with no reason. Nobody is clear of what you are, but I am clear. I do not have to say them out because I am not interested to. To irritate and make Kubi angry is not as easy as you thought, because I have good immunity. Anger makes me tachycardia, heart burn - makes your life shorter, makes you look older.

I feel friendship is really something we should treassure and whether you have a good friend or not, its all depends on them whether or not to accept all your bad attitude and sometimes your bad attitude doesn't look bad on me. I can accept because I believe anyone might easily make a mistake, after all we all are human, and no matter how badly it is, as long as you are willing to change and be "real", you are always welcome and sorry is not needed. But the internal you - now still scares me away. And you have gone too far to come back. Shower yourself like Danbo and think about your life. Who is Danbo ? My new friend XD

*****

But ONE superB happy thing happened today made by you, Dee. If you read this post, and refer back the email you sent me, you know why you made my day today. My girl now is growing in her life, doing what a teenager should lol and shes willing to share her life with others. No matter what, Chirobie (she prefer this compare to Kubi) forever be there for you.

A busy tomorrow - lots of shit to clear. Longing for Sunday outing =)

Mutism

Kubi is unsound & flimsy.Puny physique.

Swine flu starts ruining my holiday from today onwards . . .

A Bad Friday

I did something really stupid today. And I am sad.

Feel like tearing the book apart and burn it.

I am a very practical person and I always(only) do the "right" things.

Meaning ; not criminal ; do things with approval of other people, approval of myself, things under my principle - the right thing. Adding with bringing happiness to myself and others.
Many people said that we must make our own effort to strike for ; either something which is possible, impossible, belong or not to us. I seldom do that. Throughout my life, I always try my best before things happen, and the outcome always satisfy me. You can call this as LUCK. I do not fight over or beg for things do not belong to me or fight after things had happened. This is not me.

I do not like to stress myself for something unreachable. "Make impossible possible" - 5 years back I might buy this but now NO. I believe possible when I think it is possible - not you.I rather lay low and let the destiny master my life. But this doesn't show that I do not know how to put effort on works, just that I am not stubborn over impossibles. And I want to live smart. When I was younger, I always struggle with stress - Now that I've learned to manage expectations in order to get rid of stress. Expectations needed but minimize them.

How smartly you handle your life/tactics, you can never forget the principle of your life. Do not get too stubborn over it but never flush them inside the toilet bowl.

But today- I break the rules. I put my feeling at risk, I played my own feeling.

I failed doing them TODAY. Even so, this does not mean that you are better than me.

If I have higher EQ - this post never exist and today is a Good Friday.
*****

MISS-MODE

Kubi Moody. Miss-Mode. I am missing everything.

Missing home badly, my parents. Never realize that we never webcam for more than 7 months. Never see their lovely faces for such a long time. Hardly talk to them on phone this month due to busy schedules. And I doubt if I can survive for another 14 months for not going home.

OMG 14 MONTHS. Not days. Not weeks. MONTHS.

Turned down so many activities surrounding me, missing my BFs as well and ma DIM SUM gurl.

Missing Kubibloggy.

But again ; Its just that everyday is not a blogging-day.

Coughing my lung off. My diaphragm dropping. Abdominal pain. Insomnia.

SICK.

Thursday My Exam.

The only good thing I see is finally SPRING ! ! ! GREEN.

Sad Day

Saddest day of the month.

Maybe its too early to say that today-the saddest because possibly I might experience a sadder-day than today.
I HOPE NOT.

Everything just went wrong. I don't know why and I don't understand why. Perfectly-understood that things here in Russia might even worst than what I've experienced or what I've been going through. Everybody knew it. But when it strikes you, your luck just gone, JUST LIKE THAT.

And leave me dry and dreaded.

Anyone might just come and tell me ; gurl its no big thing, no big issue and some of them might even say I am the one who create self-sadness because I've been expecting more (while I am working less). When people see, they might think you are perfect ~ but things are always harder at one side and only you yourself hiding it.

I am hiding it all by myself. I know that I MUST stop expecting IT. Because my initial intention had nothing to do with this, but you know when things just go the way you want all these years, you might start to think that YOU WANT IT. I WANT IT. I am digging a hole for myself to step into it. How silly. But I always have difficulties in controlling my mind. To be exact, my emotion and needs.

OK. Conclusion, I have low EQ.

Free Myself

Let it be and be worry only when it is needed. I chose this.

I will try harder and harder,give less worry to my surroundings.The matter is still remain unsolved, it is NOT OVER YET but mean time I shall be cheerful again!

I know its always easier to say but I will TRY to forget about the troubles, do not think unnecessary thingy and ~ ~ ~

STAY FOCUS BEB.

Else, everyone including you see me in a real stress-state and my blog ~ Stress-Bloggy lol =p There you go the HAPPY-KUBI.

Limited-Evil Choices I Have

My mood disappointed my blog.

In EMO state almost equivalent to STUPOR. Been thinking and figuring a lot about my plans. In a lot of matters. I am trying harder and harder - not to think.

Never can feel any extra unnecessary excitement (anymore) - because things do not always work out as how you wanted it to be, as I wanted it to be.

I need it so much now and it makes me LOST. And start to scream for help.

I wish I can be a kid again . . .
A kid will not ask for more.

I wish I will never get older . . .
Old folks never get to ask more.

But this is what I needed most . . .

And this explains the meaning of this post . . .

If you are blurred now, you are normal because I am blurred (extreme) even before this entry. And I am working half way - because I am unable to complete it now.

Someone please help me. Cheering me up is not enough =p

Because THERE IS ONLY ONE SOLUTION CAN CURE MY HEDEK.

Emo Days

SOMEBODY PLEASE CHEER ME UP . . .

One-Night Millionaire

On 8th of March-Women's Day ~ Monday replacement as holiday, all Russians and I-All Malaysian had holiday in Moscow! A 3-days-weekend (again) =) For your information(if you are a noob),Women's Day in Russia is 100 times bigger/merrier/more important compare to any country in the world! Florists earn 100 times more during Women's Day compare to Valentine's Day.

I am a procrastinator,I DID NOT BAKE MY WEEKEND but I SLEPT OVER THE WEEKEND for like minimum 15 hours a day. Well, after recovering from a-whole-week sickness I think I deserve the sleep, as I still go for classes even with running nose, high temperature and irritating cough. As always, every weekend, no matter 2-days or 3-days, I only feel like staying at home, sleeping, resting, reading, novel-ing, movie-ing, gaming, blogging, dreaming or studying, just not to go out. Hate the hassles like taking bus, taking metro, walk under cold weather & freezing wind, and etc etc, so I rather stay home, being lazy is happier =p

Unfortunately, I only celebrated Women's Day at home this year, dinner with friends.After dinner, as usual, we play games. This time, we played monopoly and twister! A homemade twister ! ! ! Since the FCs having so much urge playing it so we joined but we did not have much fun, due to some complaints made by certain people, not gonna reveal here.

And I was a ONE-NIGHT MILLIONAIRE ! ! ! Yuuu-Huuuuuuuuuuuu XD

Well, actually Pau and I won the game that night, WHY? Not just merely it was Women's Day, but with our high IQ and EQ, we won it ! ! ! Haha, we bought only 4 pieces of land initially and the guys "ate" (sapu) all the other lands but well, the guys died one by one. Oh before losing the game, there is a curse! They repeatedly being JAILED again and again before they lost the game, we girls did not cheat but that was the curse haha! I have no idea WHY but its funny =p

More than half of the Monopoly belongs to me, including houses & hotel XD wahaha!

Hes brain-storming his EQ ~ Obviously he can't continue with Rub 60 !

The curse~Jailed again and again before ending their game lol And I am the Iron-Woman XDFinally Gan + ZV POGIBAL ON MY LAND( BABILOVA STREET)Falala=p

Another FC trying hard with his only left Rub3 (RM 0.30)+4 train stations=p HES CUTE LA !At last, POGIBAL caught at Pau's Motel !!!The GIRLS counting happily ($_$)

I shooed them back home earlier that night because I need to go out early the next morning for a birthday lunch. Err. Thank god it has been canceled LOL, I get to sleep MORE XD There goes my weekend and again today is a new fcking-school-day!

**********

Updated : OK. Now is the bitchy part ! ! ! I have been tolerating with this fella since the new semester started. I don't know what's happening on her and I don't know why the hell she has to act as if like I OWE HER forever! If you wanna go continue PMS- go farer ! If its because of some matter that you are not satisfy with me, or us, then just voice up to me, rather than showing your mother-dead-looking-face everyday and talk like a terrorist on every conversation. I just don't give a shit because I do not even know what is happening, shes worthless my anger! I AM NOT ANGRY but I AM PISSED. IF you have a bad mood, go knock yourself on the wall,do not vent out on me, you think I am stupid enough until an extend that I DO NOT SENSE your mocking speech ? ? ? ! ! !
(I am not yelling).

When she needs help, she looks like shes your best friend (oh yeah, shes having a new close friend currently FOR GOOD), when shes in bad mood, shes a terrorist ! ! ! IT IS NOT HARD TO SMILE A LITTLE BIT WIDER OR TO STOP BEING SARCASTIC. I tell you, IT IS NOT HARD.

I have my own life (thank god, I do have my own life), IF YOU DISLIKE then just give me a break !

I don't wanna dirt my blog with such a bad-post because this blog is only meant for JOY and myself. And oh yeah, I know she will be laughing if she happen to see my post, because she made me pissed. Shall I say : HALOOOOO, welcome to the blog ! YEAH, ITS YOU ITS YOU ! OMG, PSYCHIC ! ! !

Just stop stalking me !

P.S : And I think you,my brother spreaded me the flame he vented out last week after seeing my post about his new MacBook Pro =p Thats why I can FLAME NOW Wahahaha XD

Oh Weee... Last but not least.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY ! ! !
Missing home ( FINALLY !!!)